Minneapolis: Staying Power

Not to get all socialist here, since that is right next to communist, which is right next to terrorist from what I can gather from the current presidential race, but let me just say that flour milling is not the only bygone industry that made the Twin Cities great. I am humbled by the incredible manufacturing power of the workforce of this city and region. Or what it was in the generations before me. There’s still the Ford plant for now but I fear the economic downturn is not going to be good news for light truck production. Sigh.

South of town however, an oasis of manufacturing success holds strong in the town of Austin, which is very close to the Iowa border. Austin is proud home to the Hormel main processing plant and the birthplace of Spam. I am talking about Spam, the luncheon meat, not spam the digital litterbug from your in-box.

The people at Hormel have really gone all out with their Spamarium. It is an impressive modern museum that will teach you all you need to know about Spam and its universe of influence. There are state of the art, attention-grabbing exhibits that are now the modern museum-going standard, which miraculously transform meat in a can into an entertainment experience. When I say museum, I mean something closer to Epcot Center, offering a low-impact educational environment that leaves virtually nothing open to interpretation. So, not like a museum where you look at things and get to decide what you like or do not like about them. At the Spam Museum, there is little room for anything but fun.



These two gents are Misters Hormel, junior and senior, apparently sculpted out of museum-quality lard that has been frozen in place by an undisclosed Hormel lard secret. Not all of the pig goes into the can of Spam, so lard is a “value-added” by-product of the process.



Hormel made other things along the way too and they own and operate the Dinty Moore line of canned stews etc. Dinty Moore stew was a huge treat in my childhood and we only had it for the special occasions when mom didn’t feel like cooking and actually listened to that feeling. I loved its comforting canned goodness, enhanced by mom’s own relationship to Hormel products during the war. When I say war, I mean one of the older ones where the moral compass points were clear.

There was a little info at the museum about what it is like to work at Hormel, but they kind of just show the fun parts on that too. Let’s face it, it’s a slaughterhouse which I imagine is not a pleasant situation for all creatures concerned. I did get to try on the cool shark-proof glove that the workers in the plant wear so that no fingers end up contaminating the food stream.

I have to say that personally, the gift shop was really the best part and I am proud to say that I contributed to the GDP during these troubled economic times by spending 65 bucks there. I bought two cans of Spam, Hickory Smoked and Garlic flavored, even though I will never eat them. The Garlic type is sort of a special-edition collector’s item because it cannot be purchased domestically and is produced entirely for the export market. Spam is crazy good, as the commercials tell us and is crazy popular in asia.

But my favorite splurge purchase was this piece of headgear:

which is going to make a nice Halloween appearance first and then will go into my daywear wardrobe. I am Spam, Spam I am.

It's hard to tell from this picture but my Spam hat was attracted to the colossus of spatulas that was displayed near the exit. The bigger picture wouldn't load right, sorry Dear Reader.

Until next time so long from Moe, your favorite canned ham on the internet.