High in the Middle and Round on the Ends

Hello out there wide world of webs. My name is Deb and you have clicked on my blog Deb in the City. OK, I know, I know, it’s not really a blog, it’s a vlog because it’s video. But seriously, do I have to use the word vlog? It sounds like some part of the Starship Enterprise that Chekov might refer to. (with bad Slavic accent) "Captain, the vlog accelerator has reached maximum!" It’s just too hard for me.

Anyway, Deb in the City is my little coping mechanism since the economy has gotten rotten and I’ve had to curb my discretionary spending. So, no more Precious Moments collectibles and I am trying to deal with the fact that I now live in a fabulous new city, Columbus, Ohio.

I get to live in this fantastic house.

As you can see, they sort of ran out steam on the lawn there. And landscaping is not in my nanny job description.

The house is in a community with its own name, Marble Cliff Crossing.
Here’s the marble cliff, which according to the Google is technically made of Columbus Limestone. The cliff has its Crossing as I mentioned and its own gate and community center and concierge service. Oh, and self-watering lawns. Sweet!

When I first got here, everyone kept telling me about Buckeyes and how they were so great and I looked into it, once again, on the Google and it did not add up for me that everyone was so devoted to a nut off a tree that you can’t even eat. It’s poisonous, actually. What's with worshipping this killer nut?

But the locals were really kind with my misunderstanding and set me straight that the buckeye is just the symbol for the people that live in Ohio. And that the real site of worship, the cathedral to buckeyes past and future is this edifice.
OK, this buckeye worship is a very well developed cult and I’ve discovered that living in Columbus and becoming a buckeye is essentially a cradle-to-grave deal, literally. Start here:

With the Buckeye pacifier.

And end here:











It is possible for me to get buried in high Buckeye style with an Ohio State University memorial casket or if I decide to go with cremation, my ashes can sit on a shelf in a handsome OSU licensed urn. As a domestic worker I like the idea of leaving a legacy for somebody else to dust.

This is Deb in the City, singing off from Columbus, OH where Cristopher Columbus parked his ship after he discovered America with the Pilgrims.

SANTA MARIA?

From Mexico to Viet Nam

I am Deb
Deb in the City
wtf?
I feel so...shiny

World wide webs, please hear my desperate cry for help. OK, I am loving my new SoCal lifestyle, including my retirement to Champagne Village but I am really really getting fed up with my tiny responsibility, the reason I came here at all, The Child.

I want to stick with this job and all but she’s in a bad place. Her deadbeat dad is off globetrotting and I am here hung out to dry. But she’s just a little kid and so I went on a mission to try and broker peace with her. And I found what i was looking for in Old Town.

Fresh cactus, right on the bush but I did n't think it was right to just steal it out of the parking lot and I wasn't sure if it was the right kind.

So I headed to San Ysidro, down Mexico way. OK, it is fantastic there, and the streets are lined with stores that sell all things Mexican. I figured out a possible solution to my parent trap pretty soon in a fabulous supermercato.



Edible cactus, fresh and con espinosa, which I realized were a bit beyond my cooking skills. Ouchy. But lucky for La Gringa, safety cactus without the espinosa comes in a jar.

I cannot take the child to Guadalajara to see her father but I can bring a little bit of Mexico to her.

Wandering back north and once again taking the wrong exit, I ended up on the service road behind what turned out to be an entire strip mall that was Vietnamese. A huge beautiful supermarket awaited me there too, like a giant Ralph's but this one was full of all things Asian. Check out the instant noodle mesa.

And those were only the ones on sale. There is a whole noodle canyon down one aisle.

I wandered in the meat department which was huge and full of all parts of the animals. There were lots of feet.

They might want to consider calling it the Feet Department.



The produce section had all kinds of stuff I’ve never eaten.



This is a jackfruit. It looks so familiar to me, I have a feeling it must have been used as a prop on some low budget sci-fi movie I saw as a kid.

Lingering at the jackfruit I struck up a chat with an older asian woman, dressed casually for shopping. She was very shy spoke no English and I speak no Vietnamese.
She wore beautiful rings I tried to ask her about them but we only managed to exchange our names with the universal language of pointing. When she said her name was Fanny, in sort of husky voice, I realized she had not been born as Fanny but became her at some point.

Fanny the tranny. She gave me a sweet shy smile and took off. Jackfruit and Fanny, my strange, beautiful fruit of San Diego.

This is Deb in the City, surfing the diasporas, saying goodbye, adios and tam biet from San Diego, California

Champagne Taste on a Beer Budget

Deb I am
Deb in the City
I'm superbad
and looking pretty.

Wow, I just cannot get over the whole paradise aspect of this part of the country. It’s like paradise improved though, with on and off ramps everywhere you’d want to go.

Was out by Escondido today and came across a window into my future. That is, if the whole stimulus package thing works out and the world economy doesn’t skewer us all and if my employer is indeed paying into my social security like he claims.

Yes, at the corner of Champagne Drive and Lawrence Welk Boulevard, is the Welk Resort and Champagne Village, where I can easily see myself in about 25 more years. OK, ten. The village has all the amenities I could want for my retirement:


the Fountain golf course, the Canyon restaurant for fine dining and a Pizza Hut for a quick breakfast. But more impressively it has a Lawrence Welk Museum, located in the lobby of the resort’s theatre!



Yes, friends, that is a giant champagne glass made out of crystal made for the 25th anniversary of the LW show’s broadcast. Speaking of broadcast, it’s possible to stand in beside the man himself and be on his show.
I’m no Lennon Sister but I’m looking forward to a bubbly, time-shared future in genteel southern Cali style.

So then I was back in town and I missed my exit but there was a pot of gold at the end of the concrete rainbow. The swap meet! Now, I’ve been to a lot of flea market, swap meet, yard sale type things and San Diego knows how to do it right.

They sell everything from 12 pairs of tube sox that say USA on them to cell phone chargers to Mexican cowboy outfits to genuine junk dragged out fo someone’s basement to Tickle Me Elmo pinatas. Amazing. I had the most delicious snack.
Watermelon, cantelope, jicima, coconut, cucumber and orange slice, served in a plastic baggy and covered with lime juice and chili powder. Que delicioso! And for only three bucks. So good.

On the way out I bought a 20 pound bag of fresh oranges for three dollars. I am really getting used to the bounty of the Golden State.

This is Deb in the City, saying adios amigos from LaJolla California, movie home to Top Gun, Some Like It Hot and Charlie’s Angels Full Throttle. I feel the need, the need for speed.

David Hasselhoff, Where Are You?

Hey there world wide webs. My name is Deb and yes, I am part of the blog revolution and you have clicked on my brand new blog, Deb in the City.

Deb in the City is new coping mechanism since I quit going to bingo. I’m trying to manage my stress without doing harm to myself, and I hope that’s not going to take all the fun out of it. I have just moved to a brand new place and OK, I didn’t ever expect this but I now live in LaJolla, CA.

It’s incredible here though, paradise with easy access of the 5, the 81, the 78 and the 1. See, I can talk California already. And I get to live in this incredible house.

The house is brand new and everything works inside, all five bedrooms and five and a half baths. It's not quite finished yet and as you can see it's what we call "shovel-ready" nowadays. If anyone out there has a shovel, please feel free to come on over.




Before I got here I thought about southern California as this sort of life-sized set for Baywatch and I expected to get here and find everyone talking about grabbing their buoys. There is beach and surf culture, no doubt. And there’s the zoo of course, the other thing the world knows about San Diego. And Sea World and the Wild Animal Park. It’s all about the surf and turf here, but before it gets to your plate. San Diego loves its wildlife.

Yesterday, I was driving up in the hills on a tiny two lane highway in the beautiful high chaparral countryside when I hit a traffic jam in what seemed like the middle of nowhere. The reason:

Yes, those are camels and they live right here in San Diego County. They reside at the Oasis Camel Dairy (http://www.cameldairy.com/) in Ramona, the only camel dairy in the US. Oasis is run by these wonderful folks, Gil and Nancy.


They have a couple dozen camels that they milk and turn the milk into incredible soap.


The camels are also in show biz and do a brisk business around Christmas time, playing to sold out crowds at several nativity pageants around the area. Gil and Nancy can set you up with the whole nativity scene too, since they have pigs and donkeys and all sorts of exotic birds. Oasis going to start camel safaris in July.

Camels are herd animals, like children, so I plan on taking a safari to try and get a little horse sense about the pack mentality. As a nanny, I feel this will give me a nanny edge when I’m at the playground, confronted with a swarm of eight year olds. Head ‘em up and move ‘em out.

In case you’re wondering, and I know you are...



They are truly sweet creatures, toes and all.

This is Deb in the City saying so long from the Oasis Camel Dairy in Ramona, CA where every day of the week is hump day.

Chapped in Chapel Hill

Deb in the City here, with a chapped ass in Chapel Hill.

Pardon my cursing internet but I am about at the end of my nanny rope here. The child has tested my patience and I am hung out to dry here by her deadbeat dad so I gotta try something to get her back to her Pretty Princess state again. She’s just a little kid.

So I went over to Carrboro in search of something to make her happy. And my search was rewarded at this adorable place.

Tres Amigos, over on Main street. I can’t take the child to her dad in mexico but I can bring a little bit of Mexico to her. They had these insanely colored bright bottles of soda.



I found what I was really looking for, fresh cactus but ouchy.



Lucky for gringa, safety cactus comes in a jar. I also had a killer plate of tacos while I was at the tienda. Mucho gusto.

Then I wandered on down Main and came upon this woman,

setting up her corner store, literally on the corner. This is Luci and she is from Mexico.

She sells those flowers, which she makes and bracelets she weaves with names on them. I ordered one with "SAM" on it and will go to pick it up tomorrow.

Luci did not speak hardly any English at all and my Spanish is even worse but we were able to talk a little bit. She gave me a piece of paper, a copy of a letter in English from a family she worked for here. It said she works efficiently and is thorough in her attention to detail. Luci is responsive to suggestions and uses good common sense to tackle novel situations. She works very hard and makes the house gleam! If anyone out there in Chapel Hill needs a fantastic helper around the house, give Paula Craige a call (919-7893) and she knows how to get in touch with Luci.

In the spirit of the stimulus package,
(this is Obama's Stimulus Face) I’d like to propose to Luci that she and I tend the child and I split my salary with her. It’s the Nanny Bailout Bill, microfinance style.

This is Deb in the City, saying adios from Carrboro, the sister city of Santa Cruz de Juventino Rosas in Mexico. Si se puerde!

Southern Charmed

OK, Chapel Hill is loaded super-intelligent people. I’m hoping a little of that is gong to rub off on me. Ever since I was told it was something I wasn’t by my mean brother, I have aspired secretly to become the sharpest tool in the shed.

This part of the country has produced some really smart people and some really smart inventions came out of those people.

Astroturf, for instance, has made my life better and that was invented nearby at the Research Triangle Park.



I went and visited the other day and I was hoping for a crisp isosceles or even a nice right triangle in a pinch. I admit I was a little disappointed that the park is not really in the shape of a triangle. This error I could forgive because the park is loaded with companies like Kryosphere



Syngenta

and Glyconix

that are busy inventing all the things we are going to need once the future gets here.



This handsome old-school logo is for the Association of American Textile Chemists and Colorists and this organization tests all textiles and fabrics to make sure the dye stays put and all sorts of other qualities. Thanks to this non-profit organization, your clothes do not burst into flames. Unless you paid for that feature.

Meanwhile, back in Chapel Hill I stumbled upon this structure off a road at the edge of the campus.

Yes, that is a castle. It is the home of its own secret society, the Order of Gimghoul which was started by a group of enterprising U of N students way back in the day. From what I can get out of the locals, the society is for invited upperclassmen and faculty only and is exclusively male. But not all-male like Legends in Raleigh and I heard that rules also make for an all-female guest list at their parties.

I’ve got my hoop skirts ready, so if there’s any Gimghoulers out there listening, I’m ready for an invite and I’m not going to hog the keg.

This is Deb in the City, your southern belle in training, saying that’s what I like about the south from Chapel Hill.

Nothing Finer

Hello internet, it's me again. My name is Deb, but my friends call me Deb. And you have clicked on my blog, Deb in the City which is my little project to help me adjust to my recently-readjusted life. OK, I did not see this one coming but I now live in Chapel Hill, North Carolina. Yes, the Carolina that nothing could be finer than from the old song. But I’m getting ahead of myself. For starters in the finer department, I get to live in this fantastic house.

It has a two-car adult garage plus a child garage on the right for the Barbie Jeep and the pink peddle car Estate Wagon. Which is actually pretty cool.



OK, this house is not in Chapel Hill proper. It’s in another little town and the neighborhood has a name all of it’s own.

Governor’s Row is a row, but so far I have not seen the governor of which the sign speaks. Maybe "governor" is more informal, like in olde England. I am still getting used to southern habits.

Chapel Hill on the other hand, does have a legitimate hill and the University of North Carolina sits right up on top of it. There was once upon a time a chapel too but now there is a big beautiful antebellum hotel, The Carolina Inn.

Well, it’s in the antebellum style since it was built in the 1920’s. Technically speaking it’s après-bellum or post-bellum, I guess you’d say.

The University dominates the city, and as the oldest state funded school in the country, I think it’s earned that right. And Tar Heel pride dominates every corner of this city.

I didn’t understand about Tar Heels before I got here. I thought Tar Heels were the people that lived in the Tar Nation. But the locals set me straight about it. Tar itself is still a little confusing for me though. Last week I had a flat on my bike and a nice Southern gentleman with a genuine drawl asked me if I needed help to "change that tar". Slowly, I’m learning how to speak southern.

And to fully get my southern groove on, I am cultivating two habits: sweet tea and chewing tobacco. I made the mistake of trying them both at the same time and I would not recommend this.

This is Deb in the City, basking in southern charm from my front porch rocker, saying so long, y’all.